Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
