Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Randomize
