I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
