i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
