Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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