I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
