She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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