i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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