dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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