It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
