I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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