Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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