You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
