I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
