you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
