Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
