I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
