Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
