Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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