i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
