Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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