It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
