I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
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She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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