he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
