I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
