Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Every concussion has its silver lining
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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