drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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