smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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