Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
