What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
