so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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