Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
