I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
