I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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