It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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