I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize