You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
