lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
