im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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