Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize