What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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