you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize