This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
