everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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