shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
