u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
