So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
