Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
