i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
