So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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