1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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