Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
