One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need water and some morals
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
