well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
