Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
